Collection of short Geek Jokes

  • There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand¬†binary¬†and those who don’t
  • I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
  • There’s no place like 127.0.0.1
  • Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
  • COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
  • If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
  • I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
  • The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
  • Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
  • In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
  • The box said “Requires Windows XP or better”. So I installed LINUX
  • UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
  • Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly
  • You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
  • JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
  • 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
  • Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
  • It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
  • Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
  • Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
  • Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
  • The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
  • Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
  • Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
  • We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
  • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
  • Unrecognized input, get out of the class
  • Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
  • Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler!
  • WinErr 547: LPT1 not found… Use backup… PENCIL & PAPER
  • Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
  • Best file compression around: “rm *.*” = 100% compression
  • Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is “c:\> hack into fbi”
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
  • Windows: Just another pane in the glass
  • Who’s General Failure & why’s he reading my disk?
  • The truth is out there…anybody got the URL?
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
  • Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
  • Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the ‘OK’ button to continue
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
  • Press every key to continue
  • Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where’s that “any key”…
  • Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
  • Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
  • (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
  • Computers can never replace human stupidity
  • A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
  • Bugs come in through open Windows
  • (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
  • Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
  • Unix is user friendly…its just selective about who its friends are
  • Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
  • FUBAR – where Geeks go for a drink
  • I degaussed my girlfriend and I’m just not attracted to her anymore
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • Thank god, my baby just compiled
  • Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
  • Windows 98 supports real multitasking – it can boot and crash simultaneously
  • 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
  • 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
  • Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
  • Firewall: Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
  • Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
  • Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer: Where can i download that?
  • Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else
  • Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
  • Shut up, or i’ll flush you out
  • I’m sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
  • Norton: Incoming virus – (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
  • What color do you want that database?
  • C++ is a write-only language. I can write programs in C++, but I can’t read any of them
  • Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
  • How’s my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
  • Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
  • God is real, unless declared integer
  • Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
  • Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
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Tags: geek jokes, geeky jokes, short geek jokes, Best geek jokes
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